The Psychological Block Behind Waiting To Start

Is there a goal you have in mind, but find yourself waiting to start? Postponing the start until everything feels perfect? There's a need for certainty that what happened in the past - the mistakes you have made- won’t happen again. Trying to separate between a ‘failiure self’ and an ‘ideal self.’ Truth is, both of them are you. The version you want to be, is not separate from that which you are. You need to start where you are, and as you are, incorporating that part within you through acceptance. Make peace with it - do not react to it, hide it, or be ashamed of it. That will cause disharmony. Accept and be at peace with all that you are, and all that you do. You can't necessarily kill it off, or have certainty it won't be there if it's a part of you. 

People typically try to force and control themselves into new behaviors. To analyse themselves repeatedly - and will themselves to act differently. However your will - and your will power is a very finite resource. Some scientists claim it's based on sleep and blood sugar levels - while Chinese energetic medicine connects your will power to the kidneys’ functioning. This finite resource is heavily impacted by lifestyle, and can become quickly depleted, the moment you have less sleep, too much stress, or strong emotion, it becomes nearly impossible to over-ride  deeply engrained autonomic responses that occur rapidly, outside of your conscious awareness. 

Instead of waiting to be perfect, and having a perfect environment in order to start a diet, workout, new venture, or hobby - it's important to accept that it will not be a perfect and linear process. Ups and downs, mistakes, and imperfections are normal. They do not mean absolute failure - or that you will go back to an old version of you - and back to ground zero. The fear of the old self, is a fear that you’ll be stuck in a very low state. Perhaps punishing yourself, feeling bad for your actions, trying to compensate, restrict, or push even harder - in a way that will only set you back further.

You can’t trust that you won’t make mistakes, or lose will power from time to time and lapse.

You can trust however that you will accept what happened, forgive yourself, and continue to lovingly support yourself in the direction you want to go. Accept yourself now - start where you are - and begin the process of building a sense of safety within yourself. That no matter what happens, you will pick yourself back up - and keep going.

The most successful people are the most forgiving, because they can pick themselves up faster than anyone else. Be successful. Be forgiving. Be kind to yourself. Accept yourself where you are now. If any of this somehow resonates with you - it’s one of the many complex patterns I help people work through. Help is there.